I hate to be one of those people who says, "Let's not talk about it," because really, I only want to talk about it more after you say that. But here is a list of things I'd rather not discuss while reuniting with family and friends over the holidays.

Grad school. Like, OMG, number one thing people want to ask me about. I know they say grad school is supposed to break you before it does - well, whatever it's $uppo$ed to do - but I didn't know it would have me questioning what is a truly healthy amount of apathy, dissatisfaction (does that negate the apathy), and why the heck don't I just teach elementary school art???

Hillary. Yes, she's going to run. And if she's not, is the fighting worth it? Pass the pie.

The newest Apple product you got for Christmas. Does it play music? Is it touch screen? Does it cost over $200? I don't care.

My driving. Being home provides my parents ample time to scrutinize the driving habits they don't see the rest of the year. I know, Mom, I'm too close to the car in front of me; that's why I asked if you wanted to drive to grandma's instead.

My cousin's children. My aunt announces that grandchildren are the greatest gift you can give. Well, Mom and Dad, I hope a gift card suffices.

My relationship status. This is a tired topic.

"You look tired." I'm tired of hearing this, too.

The dish your relative brought to dinner.  I know, Uncle Jayme, I have to try it. It's the best pulled pork I'll ever have. (Why is there pulled pork at a Christmas dinner?)

"Why don't you visit more?" And I'm out.

Crap, it's not even Christmas yet.