By Grits Malone

Jerry Seinfeld used to do a comedy bit about socks trying to escape the dryer; seeing an old sock on the sidewalk was the result of its futile attempt to free itself from a lifelong sentence to a shoe and a drawer. In his mind, the sock had an ambition for a bigger life who desperately attempted to escape by clinging to other clothes as they left the dryer.

I'm here to proclaim a similar thought — perhaps an even more clever sock ploy. In recent years, the placement of L and R on a sock pair is meant to imply there’s a proper alignment to your feet, much like a shoe or a glove. Now I’m not suggesting I’ve solely worn socks exclusively on the "proper foot", but I have noticed one thing — well more than half of the time — I adorn my feet with the correct alignment without actually looking.

How can that be anything short of some diabolical plot by the socks themselves?

Perhaps they've relegated themselves to a life of darkness by playing a game with us humans. I blindly put a left sock on my right foot, they quickly juxtapose my hands and themselves to help me out. It's more of a public service than nuisance when I think of it that way.

I think that's it: my precious little Bombas are hard at work making sure I comply with the desire of their marketing and product development. It is a new level of product placement solely meant for the comfort of my feet!

There could be deeper implications here too.

Ever notice how you're walking along and you trip over apparently nothing? Maybe your socks are on the wrong feet. Maybe that stumble is a gentle reminder by our fuzzy friends to put your socks on correctly.

My PSA is done for now, but I can't help to think of other such services either happening or about to occur for the betterment of our human comfort. Tennis racquets made specifically for a right hand? Golf clubs are certainly leading the way there .. not to mention contact lens for our eyes.

Until next time,

Grits Malone

Grits Malone is a new guest blogger for As Told Over Brunch. You can expect to hear more of his Bacon Bits from time to time! Did you know socks come in left and rights before this blog post? Because I (Sara) definitely didn’t. Let Grits and I know in the comments below.