Forget Finding a Female Mentor Just Because You're a Girl

In college, I was told that in order to be a successful female at her job, you needed a female mentor to follow, to teach you in the ways of being a successful female in a business. And I bought it. Here's some research on the subject. I picked a job with the expectation that because it was a female-led business, I would get a better handle on how to function as a female in the business world. Now that I've worked under her and under a male, I can't say that the logic of having a same-sex boss to aspire to is necessary. Firstly, those females that we are supposed to be aspiring to more than likely trained under a man. My first lady boss was in the first graduating class with women. That means she studied under men only and was probably in a class dominated by males. She went on to create, invent and run multiple businesses as a woman without having female mentor. Why can't we do that then?

Secondly, we are reinforcing gender differences if we demand that women need to emulate women. You can learn just as much from a male as a female. Yes, I agree that the relationship is different and the experience a man has in the workplace is and always will be different than a female. However, that doesn't mean that what a male can teach you doesn't amount to anything notable. I'd even go as far to argue that learning from a male gives you a competitive edge, as males historically dominate the workplace and still live above our glass ceiling.

I'm not going to generalize and say that my experience with both is the general whole for everyone, but what I've learned from my male mentor is far more valuable than what I learned from my female mentor. My female mentor chalks everything up to being a female and fighting against the stereotype that people place on you inherently if you have a vagina. My male mentor chalks everything up to being right and fighting for what you believe in because you know best in that situation.

Far more empowering.

Additionally, working under a female created a lot of the Queen Bee syndrome, where my movements below were seen as a combative and manipulative, when they really were just new ideas that I thought might work. I didn't get any support and anything I suggested was so quickly squished, it almost felt like it was done purposefully to make me realize where my place was. Working with a man, my new ideas are welcomed and seen as me trying to challenge the status quo in an effort to better the system. I have full support and a booming voice behind me cheering me on.

More respect and more purpose.

I may be making feminists everywhere writher, but I'm just laying it all out in the table. Having a male back you up is still a good thing. Is it better than having a female back you up? No. It's just an option that people don't place any significance on, when in reality, it does serve as a benefit.

Instagram Inspiration

As a social media specialist, part of my job is monitoring all social media sites for people talking about us. Most of the time, I end up having to inform people that we actually donate the money people give us, and not pocket it. It is draining dealing with how rude people can be, but one discovered tweet makes ciphering through all the bullshit absolutely worth it. A girl tweeted a link to Instagram, which she labeled as a picture she bought to support us. Obviously, this intrigued me, as I didn't know of a picture promotion we were having, so I clicked. And what I found was the most inspirational piece of social media content that I've ever seen.

A five year old boy is hand drawing pictures of all his favorite animals to sell to friends and family in order to buy chickens for a family in need. He's five and already has a bigger heart than anyone I've ever met. Naturally, I wanted to write about it, because who can honestly hear about what he is doing and not want to find a simple way to give back, just like him.

I reached out to the mother, who was incredibly proud -- as she should be. I could not wait to write about this young boy, yet when I sat down to write, all I could think of was writing about how moved I was from what he was doing.

Clearly there is something wrong with me that I couldn't get past my own feelings to write about him. I was just so enamored with this kid's story that it was essentially blinding me from being able to write about him without writing about me feeling so strongly about it. As if, I believed that people would not understand how amazing he is, unless I said how incredible I thought he was explicitly in the story.

And that's when my writer's block broke. This five year old's passion for drawing and helping people reignited my passion's flame for writing. I knew I had to write a great piece in order to capture his story. I needed to figure my shit out in honor of this kid.

The post is still in progress, but after staring at the screen for what was close to an hour, I was finally able to break ground on writing a piece that captures how wonderful the five year old is without including myself in the article. I'm very excited to be back in the writing mode. I've made it over a huge hump, all thanks to a little kid drawing some really meaningful pictures.

Creativity Hiatus

My blog as fallen silent as of late, which is weird because I think of it often. Almost once a day, I think boy, I really need to write. But I couldn't. And I have no idea why. Can creativity just take a break? I've had tremendous writers block, where every topic I wanted to talk about just simply didn't feel right. One of my mentors at my new job left me with the parting wisdom of: If it feels right, then it probably does. If it doesn't feel right, then it isn't. Somehow writing hasn't felt right lately, and it's impossible for me to pinpoint why.

I used to come home everyday with a list of topics that would make great blog posts. At any time, there would be three to five ideas written up, with specific examples, that I would just need to recount for the post. As of late, nothing has felt "written," and I didn't want to force it. Everything used to inspire me and make me want to share it, and now everything feels like something I'd like to internalize and store away.

But hopefully the freeze is starting to thaw. Nothing is worse than feeling like one of your passions is losing its fire. Ever since I was in first grade, I loved to write. It can't die this quickly.

And I think that is the significance that tomorrow's blog post holds for me. A spark reminded me of my passion. Pure, elated, childish passion, which makes you feel like you can change the world. And I am so excited to share it with you all tomorrow.

Wisdom comes with Age, Not Teeth

The past two days have been fraught with a dull pain in the back left side of my mouth, right around the location I would expect a wisdom tooth to be. While I was eating lunch fajitas with some co-workers, I mentioned that I think that I might be getting a wisdom tooth in. "Aweee, you're teething," says one of my co-workers. I bust out laughing. It's a running joke that I'm a baby at my work, as most of my co-workers are much further along in their lives than I am. Some might argue that the usual jabbing at my youth is undermining my authority, as I've read that's a technique for older people to assert dominance. Here's an opinion piece about age discrimination in the work place, just in case you didn't know what I am talking about.

I can't say that I agree. When it comes to my work, I am the authority. No one knows social media better than me at work. I grew up on it. I took classes on it in college- classes I am sure most wouldn't have even been able to take when they were in school, as social media wasn't even a thing at the time. People respect me and ask how I think they could work with them to benefit from social media.

Then we collaborate and come up with a way that their needs are met, as well as best using social media. We're a team. They share their ideas, and mine count just as much. Yes, I report to people and their say can override mine, but that's how it should be. They're in a position of power not because of their age, but because of their wisdom.

I am still relatively new to this whole full time employment thing, so you're damn right there's times that the older people have to reel me in. There are constraints that I often can't see. They've been around the block a few times and can forecast better than I can how things will turn out. That's where wisdom trumps youth. It's not because I drink coffee and get overly excited about plans, which apparently stops once you've matured a bit and have felt similar success before.

So what if they poke fun at me because I have no idea who Donny Osmand is? Or ask if I'm even allowed to go to the company happy hour? I'm young. I have a ton of energy and enthusiasm for my job because I haven't been jaded by years of work. Let people remind me of my youth. I hope at least one person does everyday. Because one day I'm not going to be young, so I mine as well revel in the traits it presents me with now.

Sorry for the Spam

Last night, I was pretty excited to try out this new website I had found that marketing itself as a place for people to communicate with others that share their interests on Twitter. In my head, that meant it was a forum for tweet chats, so I signed myself up and then went ahead with selecting industries and topics I was interested in. The next step seemed a little blurry, as I didn't fully understand where exactly the tweet chats were going to occur, but I allowed access to my Twitter account regardless, because that would make sense for them to have so I could tweet to all of the accounts of similar interests, right?

Wrong. So, so, so wrong. And if it hadn't been for my favorite internet troll of a friend, I would never have known what a pile of wrong I had stepped in. Here is what my twitter feed looked like to me yesterday:

And here (apparently) is what my new forum posted on my behalf:

Great. I accidentally signed myself up for a spam followers generator. And you know what's even more saddening: it promoted that I got 882 new followers, and I didn't even get any new followers, nor do I even have 800 followers.

If this all isn't embarrassing enough, what's worse is that I can't even delete them because I CAN'T EVEN SEE THEM. My only course of action, now, has been to delete them out of my access list. So the lesson here is clearly don't give out Twitter access to just anyone, even if they make it sound like a nice place to go and discuss your feelings, because they may be tweeting out creepy spam to all your friends.

Mean Tweets

So one of the best things I've seen lately is Jimmy Kimmel's "Mean Tweets" segment. He has quite a few versions of them, but my favorite is the music version (probably solely because of Lil' Wayne's tweet and his reaction). Anyways, the main premise is celebrities reading mean tweets that people have sent out about them/ to them. It's hilarious how incredibly rude some people are, but also goes to show how detached people are from what they say on social media. Hell, I'm even guilty of it to some extent. And now, in some twist of fate, part of my job is going through what people are saying about my company on social media and try to mediate when I can. One of our primary tactics for fundraising is through commercials, which, to put it gently, really aims to evoke massive amounts of pathos from viewers in order to get them to donate. The spokesperson is a fatherly looking, older gentleman and takes a grunt of the cyber-bullying that our organization faces. I really hope he doesn't have a twitter, because people are not very nice about the poor guy, when all he is trying to do is raise some money for our cause.

From being called a "fat dick" to an "ugly santa claus in the off season," he gets absolutely ridiculed on a regularly basis. I am still fairly new and have not personally met him, but I would assume- as he actually contributes to the cause which he is advocating- that he is not actually a dick. And he actually isn't even THAT fat. I mean does he have  few extra pounds? Sure, but I would not so much to even categorize him as fat. And regardless of if he is, I am not sure why that takes away from his humanitarian effort.

What I wish more than anything is for people to press the pause and think about why they are so passionately rude to people online.  What has any celebrity done to you, or our spokesperson for that matter? What gives you the right to ridicule someone just because there is an open forum for it? Maybe before pressing the send button, consider that the person that you are saying that about might actually read it, and it may even hurt their feelings.

Why Throwback Thursday is the best social trend ever

So, based off of the title of this post, you may be able to infer that I am a huge fan of the #tbt / #throwbackthursday hashtag. Beyond being a relatively easy trend to keep up with, it really brings to life social media. I love looking at baby pictures, so that is the first reason I like throwing it back. Just ask my friend whose house I stayed at and stalked out all his pictures of the baby version of himself. I also find myself to be a pretty stunning baby, so there's that.

Beyond babies, I also am a fan of any reason to stalk myself, and throwback Thursday is the perfect reason to scroll through every picture of myself on Facebook. The weekly dash of nostalgia is a really welcomed distraction in my schedule.

From a professional standpoint, there are two solid reasons that throwback Thursday is a blessing. Firstly, it's a great way to recycle content without anyone being suspicious! It's actually a great self-serving way to get second legs out of material without anyone calling you out on it. Second of all, it gets you involved with a well-known and popular trend. It's a pretty easy way to seem hip without having to try too hard.

From what I've gleaned about my readership, people seem to like my embarrassing stories more than my business ones, so back to me. I take throwback Thursday as a way to show off how cute I was as a baby and how totally awkward I was in my teen years (you are welcome world!). To get in on the action, check me out on Instagram and twitter (@sarawoznicki) for this week's family photo circa 2008.

What's been your best throwback post?

The Top 3 Revelations of the Week

A few years ago, a professor said that everyday you should write down three good things that happened to you. Of course I tried it and only completed two days worth before I forgot about it. So now I've set my sights a little lower, and came up with three pretty cool things that happened to me this week that I didn't even know could happen. 1. Cyber coffee: It's no secret I am a disaster until I get a cup of coffee in the morning, so naturally when I got an email saying that someone sent me $10 to Starbucks, it was the highlight of my morning. Then my day got even better when my ex-professor tweeted me a free cup of coffee. Who even knew you could do that? I didn't until now, but what I do know is that combines my two favorite things: social media and caffeine.

2. I have loved Fall Out Boy since the beginning of time, but have never gotten to see them live until this week! I am always nervous to see bands live in case they suck and then I won't like them anymore, but I wasn't too concerned about that happening in this case, as all my friends said they were good live, but they totally exceeded my expectation. There's something about being surrounded by a huge mass of humanity that all adore the same thing as you that just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The feeling I got from seeing the band I loved most in high school is something I can't even explain, or even thought I would feel as strongly about. There's nothing in the world that feels as good as music.

3. I discovered Pinterest analytics, which I didn't know existed until this week, and was able to prove its worth to some new guy that flat out told me social media held no value. By being able to demonstrate the high click through rate to the website not only made me feel like I am actually useful, but also silenced the smug new guy. Boom.

What would you add to your list of 3?

Throwback Thursday: My First Blog Post

I have found a hidden gem to share. Apparently, my most embarrassing life moments are the ones people like to read about the most (go figure), so I am giving in. (I say this because the most read posts on my blog are My Beef with Headwear, I'm Too Awkward to Network, and Absurd Ways I've (Attempted to) Make Money, which I would consider to be my most embarrassing posts). I stumbled upon my very first blog post ever on accident, which is weird because this has happened before. Let me elaborate. A few months ago, I made a gmail account so I be a part of a google hangout with all of my group mates once when it was snowing. When I created my account, it somehow connected to a Blogger account I had opened in high school. There were not too many posts, but they were all angsty and teenager-ish, so I took them down immediately before anyone might accidentally read them. Crisis averted, or so I thought.

Just this week, I wanted to sign up my old email account to the mailing list to be alerted every time a new blog entry was posted. Sounds narcissistic? It probably is. But the reason I did it was to see how it looks in an email form. Anyways, when I signed up for the list, it already had an account attached to it. YET ANOTHER ANGSTY TEEN BLOG I HAD CREATED BACK IN THE DAY. I'm not sure why I had two very poorly maintained blogs, but I did.

In honor of Throwback Thursday, here is the lone post of my old Wordpress blog in all of its moody glory:

So, I read Spark’s The Last Song last night. Oh. My. God. I bawled like a baby. *SPOILER ALERT* Uhm, heartbreak, but totally saw it coming.  Maybe because I have just gotten off a long stint of poetry, I saw it from the first pages about the leaves turning, falling, and then the puffs of life dying. Or something like that.  Oh and the title is a dead give away. I mean, really?!! Who else would it be referencing other than that father.  Overall, there was only one thing that killed me in this book.

1.  The father dying.  It practically killed me.  I mean, when it was talking about the last time he was ever going to hug his son, and that she realized he would never be there to walk her down the isle at her wedding, who wasn’t crying by this point.  And cancer??? Is it even fair to write about it?  I mean, who can read about cancer and not cry.  Everyone knows how horrible it is, and almost everyone has been directly or indirectly affected by it.  Thats a cheap one, Sparks.  But lets think about this: Kids- having to watch your parent die prematurely, and parents: think about knowing it was the last time for seeing your child.  Maybe thats what did it for me.  The last of everything makes me weirded out.  Little things, like the last time I will be somewhere, the last time living in my dorm, the last time I am eating at a restaurant, all get to me.  I guess finality, the thought of not going back scares me.  But in a somewhat ironic twist, so does the thought of forever.  Eternity, when I picture it, is a swirl of clouds that never ends.  Eternity feels like its going to trap me in a cycle that I will never get out of.  Basically, extremes of ends and the never endings are terrifying. But now back to the book.

My one real complaint is how Sparks wrote this for the movie.  I haven’t seen the movie (yup, your fault Miley), nor do I know much about it, but I feel like the book was written specifically to be made into a movie.  Sparks put subtle hints for making it into a movie.  For example, their first kiss was described as quick and “not like an overdone earth shattering kiss common in movies today” or something along those lines.  Really!? You are going to try to influence the movie that much.  Please, try to make it any more obvious that you want the movie your way.  Just write the book for the books sake and not for a movie.

So lets recap: The book made me cry and wonder why on earth I was even reading something this depressing and the thought of going to the movie makes me want to cringe.  I could barely read the tragedy, but to see it acted out: Yeah, I don’t know that my heart can handle it.  That being said, I can’t say its a bad book in the least.  It made me think.  And I can’t stop thinking about it.  So plus one for you Sparks.  You ripped out my heart.

Being a Small Fish in a Big Pond

There's something to be said for working in a small office and wearing a lot of hats, but there's even more to be said about being a gopher in a cubicle. I always thought small office work was more for me. Everyone would know me, I'd have more responsibility, and would have an opportunity to do more. To some extent, some of that was true, but there are more reasons to love a large office than I expected. I originally thought that I would be "just a number" at a large company, but I've never felt like that. Since day one, which admittedly was only a week and a day ago, everyone in my department either knew who I was, or at least was aware of my presence. My team makes the large office seem small. We work together and make the cubicle laden place seem like a little community. Coming from a small office, it is actually nice to be surrounded by so many people that are willing to help and bounce ideas off of. I have felt more creative and inspired with all of the talent that surrounds me daily.

Another myth I had in my head about large offices was that you only do one thing over and over again. Again, I am only in my second week, but there is much more content coming in, so while my role might be more narrow, there is actually much more variety now. Also, because I am doing a more narrow job, there is more potential for me to become really, really good at something, rather than workable across a variety of tasks.

I was also nervous about a large office because I thought there would be less trust in me. I could not be further from reality. Because they did intense background checks, several panel interviews, and a skills assessment, they were aware of my capabilities coming in, and therefore trusted me almost instantly. With a vetting process, I was posting tweets on my second day. By my second week, I have been granted full access to all social media accounts, given a phone and an ipad, and encouraged to offer my input at meetings.

My last major concern about a big office was I figured I would have less potential to make things happened. I pictured working at a big office being essentially like having my hands tied, in that there would be so many standard operating procedures that I would have no opportunity to be a change agent. However, being in a big company gives you opportunities to use all of these resources that are simply not available in a smaller office. If I think a Facebook post should be boosted, there is a budget for it. If I need color coded stickies, there is a whole office supplies closet to raid.

Beyond just overturning every notion I had about working in a large office, there has even been additional perks that I never expect. The obvious perks are tangibles like a new computer, a huge monitor, ipad, and iPhone with less flashy perks such as retirement plans, benefit packages, and life insurance also adding to the list. But beyond all of those work perks, there's something to be said for being surrounded by people constantly. While sometimes human interaction takes away from work, it drives me to work harder. When you are constantly seeing other people work passionately towards the same cause as you, there is no way you can slack off. While I can only see one way to get something done, there are constantly other ideas always improving my work.

So while I may be a small fish in a big pond these days, I'm a highly important little guppy making the ecosystem healthier.