Airport Adventures

Airplane boarding is a caste system. I’m not just talking first class vs. economy seating. There’s priority boarding, too. If you’re one of those people who gets called to board first, you should be embarrassed: This means you’re either too rich (or you prioritize your spending in ways I don’t) or you’re a workaholic because you have too many frequent flyer miles - and probably too many emails. (I should disclose here that I hope to one day have those frequent flyer miles.)

Also, what is this nonsense where we have to stand in two separate lines? First class already boarded, but I still have to stand on a different square of carpet than them?

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The Netflix Binge

The Netflix binge is a millennial epidemic. It strikes post-brunch - if you even make it out the door for brunch - or one evening while you and your friend(s) debate what you can do that doesn't involve tipping a bartender. Or you're already laying by the TV waiting for Domino's cheesy bread to be delivered. You spend thirty minutes scrolling through the buffet of options ("I haven't even heard of that" or "Go back, what's that about?") until you both squeal at some show you've wanted to see - or maybe they've seen an episode already, but let's now embark on this together.

You're only past the opening credits when the cheesy bread arrives. And once you eat the cheesy bread, you either rewind or pause to catch up because neither of you knows what's going on.

You will stay on that couch for the next two to 24 hours. When you break, it is because one of you has to go to work or a family emergency arises. Sleep is never cited. And before you part, you sign on the dotted line that you will pick the show back up in nine hours once you're both home again.

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