At a recent happy hour, a coworker told me he had preened down his Facebook feed so that it only included the stuff he wanted to see. This included unfollowing multiple friends, even close ones, because, he complained, their shared life successes did not always align with the life he knew his friends lived.

Similarly, I have friends who share public victories that I know contrast with inward frustrations and insecurities. One friend never fails to remind us when he’s jetting off to a new city for work. He then texts me on his layovers to complain about the toll on his health and relationships. I understand that the public accolades may temporarily boost his spirits, but they also paint a false landscape of bliss for audiences. I always laugh when mutual friends remark to me that “Russ seems to be doing great; he’s always traveling and climbing the career ladder.”

Yes, isn’t he?