I’m known for being a generally fit person. I walk everywhere in Richmond, including the grocery store and work/school, and I lift weights five times a week. I also used to run regularly in college (now I run once or twice or never a week, but whatever). But I’ve never done a race.

Okay, that’s not entirely true. Senior year of college, an organization I was in hosted a 5K fundraiser, so I participated. I almost won, too. Having never done a race at that point in my life and being used to running 10 miles at a time, I thought I’d sprint the 5K. I led for the first mile. For real, I was hundreds of yards ahead of the second person. But one cannot run at 10 mph for three miles. By the end of mile one, I met my mortality. I was lapped twice. By a father and son. Anyhow, they got first and second place, and I got third. Fourth place was my friend who now runs marathons regularly, so it says something that I beat a future marathon runner. Right?

Anyway, that race was $15 and benefitted my organization. I never did another race after that because why pay to exercise? Races are extravagantly expensive. They’re usually upwards of $60 to jog a distance I could do on my own. So what, I get a t-shirt I won’t wear and a medal that I could just order and pretend I earned?