Overcoming FOMO

In college one of my favorite articles I read was about FOMO, the fear of missing out. It's basically a feeling you get when you go on social media and see that all your friends are having so much fun and you weren't there. There's all these studies out now that back FOMO up, saying that social media and the Internet is causing kids to feel higher levels of anxiety (click here for an article that backs me up. and another just to up my credibility). Why I liked this article so much- and literally printed it out so I could always have it- was because I could deeply relate to it. I always felt like I was missing out. If I was invited to 2 different events at the same time, I would pick one and then sit on Facebook or Twitter the day after, waiting to see pictures and and status updates about the party I missed out on. I consistently felt like the other option was better no matter how much fun I'd have the night before, I'd always feel like I should have done the other thing.

Making decisions would be stressful, and then I'd have anxiety about it after, knowing that I'd be able to see if the other people had fun. One night I wanted to unwind after a rough week and relax, so I made no plans and decided to stay in. However, it was nowhere near relaxing. I kept checking in on social media and seeing how much fun people were having and I wondered why I ever decided not to go out. So much for relaxing...

Over time I built it up in my head that social media was this huge problem and that I'd never want to work in it because it is an evil empire. After getting a job where my title is literally "Social Media Specialist", I realize how wrong I was about social media.

Social media was never the problem. The problem was all in my head. This is how I needed to think about it: when people go out and take pictures, they hardly ever take sad ones and post them on Facebook. Even more, some of the best nights I've ever had were ones where we didn't take any pictures because we were literally having too much fun to do so.

Consider that people that tweet excessively are probably not doing anything else that would distract them from tweeting, while you're out there having a blast.

And lastly, who the hell cares? Remember that. If I had a great time, why should I be concerned if someone else had more fun? Why can't we all just have fun and not attempt to quantify it and compare it?

Social media is a great way to connect friends and families, consumers and companies, and strangers with similar interests. Just because someone tweets more than you, is tagged in more pictures than you, has a higher Klout score, or is Vine famous does not intrinsically mean that they are living vastly more exciting lived than you. It's just means they waste a lot more time trying to document their lives, while you're out there living it.

I'll Go, But Not Quietly

A few days ago, I hit my last straw with my bank. I've been banking with them since high school, and have had it with their lackluster customer service and mismanagement of my account. I have gone in person to speak with someone, only to be turned away. I've called the hotline, only to be hurried off the phone without my problems resolved. So I took my message to the streets.

I tweeted: "Bank of America blows. I'm going on record to say they consistently, bar none, have the worst customer service available. #salty"

 I did this for lots of reasons. I did this because I thought of the Dell Hell blog that caused Dell to reinvent its customer service. I did it to inspire change within the organization. I did it to make them take customers complaints seriously. I did it so they stopped thinking they could walk over me. I did it to warn my followers that if they want a pleasant banking experience, they should go somewhere else. And lastly, I did it because I was alone in my office and needed to complain to someone.

My dad then called me up to inform me that I am petty, immature and that "as someone that's in the business of social media, you should know the limits of what should be tweeted."

I took it all in and contemplated it. Among the tweets up for debate:

• that I watch Kelly and Michael at work
• That I am glad the workweek is ending #TGIF
• And mainly about how I am a disgruntled bank consumer

If my boss knows I watch Kelly and Michael at work, what's the problem with saying that it makes me happy to do so?

My boss also says she's glad for the weekend. She's used the #TGIF hashtag before. And not to compare, but she referred to Beyonce as porn, so how is that any less petty to put on social media?

And lastly, if I tell people in person to bank elsewhere, what's the difference between telling my online network? I literally work my bank into conversations in order to warn people, so why should I not tell people online about my feelings? Is it rude? Potentially. I tried other means to talk to the bank, but bar none the most immediate response I got was via my tweet. They even followed up with me days later via twitter. When I call them or go see them in person, I don't even get that kind of compassion. Clearly, tweeting to them helped on some level.

46% of people look online before making purchasing decisions, so isn't it in the best nature of helping others to warn people of a company I strongly suggest avoiding? If this bank won't change, shouldn't I tell people to be wary? I gave them ample chances to make me a happy customer, but they didn't, so now they should live with the repercussions. 

My sister tells me just to leave if its so bad. I'm going to leave the bank eventually, but why do I have to go quietly and let people blindly decide to go there without at least some chance of knowing how they will be treated?

Is tweeting badly about a company a bad thing? Or am I right in wanting to bring to light customer service that is not up to my standards? Is it justified because it's they only avenue that they took me seriously on?

Let's get some dialogue going about this below.

Sometimes, there CAN be such a thing as too much enthusiasm

So now that I'm running my own independent beauty consulting business, I decided that I needed to back it up with social media. This was a natural inclination, as social media is my daytime profession. Plus, I had it worked out in my head that the more I sold online, the less legwork I would need to do in real life. So along came my alter ego, Sara at Mary Kay. She has this fancy little fan Facebook page and a Twitter handle to match. I went through and invited my friends to like the page and gave about a 10 second thought as to what to schedule onto it. Then I turned my sights onto my new Twitter persona.

I really saw Twitter as my outlet to new fans for many reasons, such as Twitter's longer history of hash tags, trending topics, and a general attitude that its not creepy to follow strangers. So I went Twitter-crazy. @SaraAtMaryKay went through and followed almost anyone talking about makeup, Mary Kay, skincare, or even just in the geographic vicinity of Richmond. Then she started retweeting like it was going out of style. Just to top it all off, she started mentioning lots of people that she whimsically decided would be interested.

Then Twitter blocked @SaraAtMaryKay.

Down went my non de plum. Thankfully, it only lasted for about an hour, and @SaraAtMaryKay was back in the game.

One may assume that after being blocked for being considered spammy, you would breathe and reign in the crazy Twitter horses. Nay. @SaraAtMaryKay continued to trek on. I had that account go through my real account and follow everyone that I thought would want to follow my makeup persona. I did a bit more retweeting, and just like that I was suspended (which means that you have to sit through several days of Twitter jail while they decide if you are allowed back on the site).

I was livid. How was I going to launch this great new endeavor if Twitter keeps taking me offline? So what if I condensed an entire day of reasonable Twitter engagement into an hour? So what if I spent my lunch hour blowing up the feeds of my followers?

Then it hit me.

Twitter is about people. No one wants to see me throwing myself at them. It was basically Twitter trying to tell me I was being desperate and needed to get my shit together. Basically I was being that drunk girl at a bar that just won't shut up so that everyone else can enjoy a bit of discourse. She just keeps blurting things out and hoping someone latches on to at least something she said, when in reality they're just rolling their eyes.

Sometimes, there can be too much enthusiasm. It's great that I wanted everyone to know I was selling markup, but I needed to direct all that emotion into digestible packages. I wouldn't want people doing that to me, so why was I doing it? Better yet, I work in social media, so how was I so deluded into thinking that this was okay?

My best answer is simply  one word: enthusiasm. It's hard to gauge how much is too when you're excessively excited about something. Not everyone will want to hear about your passions 24/7. That doesn't mean they don't want to hear it, just that they want it in moderation. Keep your readers in mind and just consider: how pissed would you be if someone blew up your feed with all the content you are producing?